Archive for the 'depression' Category

What Doesn’t Help Melancholy.

Listening to this over and over:



One of the aims of this website is to be a kind of therapy for me…

AHAHAHAHAHA, like writing ever cured anyone’s mental illness! I’m bonkers, I admit it.

Here’s a little post about my little friend, Effexor.

I started taking Effexor about three months ago. My depression had gotten so bad that I was barely moving. Seriously, I would lie in bed all day. I saw a psychiatrist, who started me on Effexor.

So far, I am functioning at a higher level, as long as I have a ready supply of the drug. The pharmacy I use has unexpected summer hours, which prevented me from getting the drug this last weekend. It was the worst weekend of my life. I was so dizzy I felt drunk. Add nausea, insane crying jags, and the inability to focus my eyes (how scary is that?!) and you have my weekend. My husband, Sean, was a saint (as usual). He fetched gatorade, watermelon, and laid next to me for hours while I cried. I felt entirely despondent. In my deepest, darkest hours, I had never felt like that. I felt like my life was not only worthless, but that I had taken it from someone more deserving! Unfortunately, a dear blogging friend of mine, Julia, also died recently. I felt horrible guilt that someone as beautiful as her lived, while a wretch like me continued on.

Anyhow, death. ravens. despair.

I finally filled my prescription on Monday, and the week is looking up! My irises are finally blooming, and my daisies threaten to take over my pathetic flower patch .