New Favourite Pastimes

1. Taunting nerdy people*, especially nerdy Filipinos of the husband persuasian, by being really  quite a tart. There is nothing better than making a very innappropriate comment and watching them blush and choke. I enjoy taunting both sexes equally. I especially like to taunt them if I catch them checking me out. Recently:

“Want to see my underwear?” at a guy who kept staring at my mismatched socks. Ahahahahaha. Poor, shy, fobby Chinese student at the university nearly died. Since then, however, we have developed a friendship.

2. Cleaning up the nastiest dog diarhea ever produced. Seriously, does she have some sort of extra grease gland? Not really a favourite past time, but one that has been necessary several times in the past few days.  My poor puppy always hides under the bed if she has an accident, and sometimes gets stuck! I’m taking her into the vet’s office tomorrow for her second round of testing (blood test).  As long as I’m talking about poop, her stool sample turned up nothing. I SAVED a bag of shit IN MY HOUSE for a couple of days for nothing. Goddamned dog.

3. Writing, writing, writing poetry.  On the flipside, this new productivity is a noose around my neck. I have written four new poems that I can be proud of.  I have also cried myself to sleep the last couple nights. For no reason, of course. That is what depression is like.  I know that I am at my  most productive when I am at my most mentally unwell. I can feel winter, and with it, the decline into depression, approaching.  Winter is my most artistically productive season. Unfortunately, I also produce the most tears, my house is at its filthiest, and I neglect the rest of my life during that time.

*Oh, who am I kidding? I have enjoyed taunting nerds ever since my boobs developed.

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