Robots and Guilt

I was in Target the other day, browsing the robotic toy section, when I came across some newfangled alarm clock.

It was a robotic alarm clock that would signal to you when it was happy or sad. It could respond to light and sound. You were, of course, obligated to buy its little friend, the stereo. Mr. Stereo could also tell you whether it was happy or sad, by sending a message to the alarm clock. They could also interact with one another, like hang out and stuff.

Sean’s all like “Let’s get them! They’re so CUUUUUUTE” *puppy dog eyes*

Me: No way.

You see, we have a Catholic relationship with our robots. That is to say, a guilty one.

We liberated the Roomba. Oh yes. Our floor is covered in cat hair because I just couldn’t stand the feeling that maybe Roomba didn’t WANT to vaccuum. Maybe he would rather just buzz around, terrorizing the cats. I admit that he seems much happier this way.

I already worry about keeping my pets happy enough. I don’t want to wake up in the middle of the night and see that my alarm clock is sad. I don’t want an emotional relationship with my appliances. I mean, what the hell? Does a sad alarm clock suddenly start sobbing in the night? Does an angry stereo refuse to play anything but country? Then you have to worry if you are enslaving them…

Fuck.

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1 Response to “Robots and Guilt”


  1. 1 Bethany August 17, 2008 at 1:54 am

    best entry ever. I definitely agree with you about not wanting to have a relationship with appliances. What if you get a republican appliance or one that likes techno? It’s hard enough to interact with people. And I talked to the roomba–it wants to vaccuum, especially before I visit.


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