Twitchy Dude

Dear Twitchy Dude at Cub Foods,

My shirt does indeed mention an “outdoor terrier,” but it means the SHIP, not the DOG, you imbecile. It even has a SHIP on it. I do not want to hear about how you used to have a dog, but ate it, nor about what kind of sour cream you think is best.

Your creepy, snorting little laugh that makes your moustache do a little dance? Please refrain, especially when talking about sour cream.

Thank you,


p.s. you follow me again and they’ll never find your body, LOL!


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