Real Men

My husband is a gem among men. He is sensitive without being weepy. He

is kind, gentle, caring, and compassionate. He is also a strong, tough, and sarcastic bastard. Did I mention that he’s handsome?

I always see stupid lists in magazines about what a “real man” is.

Want to know some things that have demonstrated what a “real man” my husband is?

  1. His compassion. If he has 10 dollars in his pocket, and is hoping to buy a pizza, but a homeless person asks him for money, he will give half of that money to the person. He gives as much as he can afford, every time. He also cannot stand to see animals suffer. I’ve brought home the most decrepit, stinky, senile bags of bones cats, and he gently nurses them through their last months. “We have to do it, how can we not?”
  2. His pride. You will not see my man allow anyone to disrespect him, his family, or his values. He is not a violent or angry man, but all the same, anyone who decides to disrespect him will be confronted.
  3. His easygoing attitude. This may seem to contradict the previous point, but generally, he is very easygoing, and takes life with a smile on his face.
  4. His maturity. This is not a man who is going to run off screaming because he sees a tampon. In fact, he washes my dirty pads (too much information? also, I use cloth pads) He is not squeamish. He does not spend money on stupid shit (well, stupid shit that I don’t agree on) He does not have inane hobbies.  He shares household duties equally.  He is planning on being a stay-at-home dad when we have children. He gives without expecting something in return. He does not ascribe to gender roles.
  5. His loyalty. If you have the honor of him calling you, “friend,” it is permanent. He can be shy and it takes a good deal of time to earn his trust, but you never have to worry about your friendship with him again. I do not have to worry about him with other women. It is not an issue, ever.
  6. His sense of humour. He makes the dumbest jokes in the world (I swear he gets them from the little old men who used to hang out on our stoop). He also can laugh at anything.
  7. His passion. When Sean likes something, he throws himself into it. When Sean dislikes something, he throws a tantrum (kidding.) He has always been very passionate, evidently. As a baby, his parents used to call him “Little King,” because he would fixate on things, and when those things got taken away, he would cry bloody murder.  He holds very strong convictions, and I respect that those convictions and morals do not come from any religious rules, but rather, from his own thoughts.
  8. His optimism. It works well with my generally pessimistic, suspicious outlook on life to have someone who thinks things will turn out okay. He is not a pie in the sky optimist, but one who finds hope and happiness in simple things.
  9. I wish that it wasn’t necessary to clarify this, but a real man is not a racist. He is not a homophobe. He is not a sexist.  Chauvinism or a macho attitude does not make you a man.
  10. Oh yeah, and he’s good in bed (definitely t.m.i, ahahaha)

3 Responses to “Real Men”

  1. 1 adriantp July 15, 2008 at 2:28 am

    I absolutely agree with you, though I am a man, and may not be fully qualified to judge. I’m tired of the bullshit expectations that “they” place on men. Men should be allowed to be Human, through and through. Men should be Manly (as in Humanly).

    Congratulations on finding happiness in a good man. I wish there were more people like you and your husband in this world.

    Thank you for believing there’s more to being a man than being ignorant, sexist, racist, homophobic, stupid, macho, and insensitive.


    P.S. – Please excuse my stupidity in previously posting this in the wrong comment area.

  2. 2 Mama Nabi July 15, 2008 at 4:59 pm

    OMG, he looks so fresh and young in this. FYI, he looks, for some reason, much older in a Hawaiian print… why is that??

  3. 3 girlbattleaxe July 16, 2008 at 7:34 am

    A-Thank you for your comments. I’m glad there is another sensitive man out there! My blog commenting system is sometimes glitchy, so don’t feel bad.

    MN- It’s probably because men his age don’t wear authentic Hawaiian shirts…also, he had just gotten a facial before our wedding, so his skin looks amazing.

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